Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
