Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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