Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just want to make out with him forever
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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