Where did you get a picture of my penis
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
