well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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