How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
