Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
