Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
