i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
