What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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