My room smells like vodka and shame
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
