Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dignity is for republicans.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
