There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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