eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
