Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
