just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
