i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
