what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
