She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
