my being single is dangerous.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
