If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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