so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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