why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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