with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
