I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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