we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
