So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
