So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
