If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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