It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
