It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
