Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
