Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
