What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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