I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
