and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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