I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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