you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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