fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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