is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
