my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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