dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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