she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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