If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
