I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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