Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
