Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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