Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
