He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
