Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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