i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
